 | |||
| The Multilayer Mask not only protects you from harmful dust and allergens, but it also lets you breathe freely with its polypropylene filters. The mask is lightweight and fitted for comfort, which is crucial for any mask that is to be worn for an extended period of time. | |||
| |||
| Green, Smith, Mitchell Flexible-Net 86778 468th Avenue. 86778 468th Avenue Opt out of further messages. |
Oliver
Today was the day. The day I would tell Gina how I felt. I was going to look in her bright blue eyes and everything was going to be perfect. I've longed for this day to come for the past 5 years. Gina has been one of my best friends since we were 8.
The only problem about my magnificent plan was that Gina is currently unavailable. Noah Peters is the guy who actually has the gift of being her boyfriend.
The stuck-up quarterback who spends half his day looking at himself in the mirror and the other talking about the amount of his touchdowns.
Gina isn't even his type, at all. But I've come up with the theory that he just began dating Gina because of her looks. And also the fact that he wanted to deflower her. In that he succeeded, which is another reason why I loathe him.
I know what you must be thinking, "Why would I get even attempt to show Gina my feelings if she's already taken?" But you don't get it. She is the light of my life, the sun when my life's so grey. Even if she'll never see me as more than a friend, I need her to know how I feel. How I've always felt.
Noah
"Stace I know it's hard to see me with her, but I promise you it's only temporary. As soon as I win the championship I will let her go."
"Promise?"
"Promise", I kiss her forehead. I step out of her BMW M3, making my way inside the building.
I see Gina on her way towards me. She makes that face I love and squeals loudly as she runs jumping in my arms.
"Hey baby. How's your morning been?", she smiles.
"Alright, I guess. It's better now that you're here."
She gets on her tippy-toes and kisses me softly. The way her soft pink lips feel on mine make me melt.
I grab her hand in mine. We make our way down the halls, getting to Spanish class.
"Here's my stop."
"Gina..."
"Yeah Noah?"
A lump begins to form in the back of my throat as I try to say these words. "Um.. forget about it. It can wait."
"Okay, I love you. See you after class."
"See you", I say walking away.
I make my way to the bathroom, as I look in the mirror I don't know who's looking back at me. Someone so familiar turned into a stranger overnight.
Stacey, my ex, was the one who proposed this shenanigan. She wanted me to date Gina. It was the only way I could get my grades up enough to play and get a scholarship.
I knew someone would get hurt when it was time to end it. I just never expected it to be me. And Stacey is determined to get me back.
Gina
Mine and Noah's relationship couldn't be better. Almost 6 months strong and my love for him just grows. My favorite part of the day is when I fall in his arms and he makes me feel so safe.
Interrupting my thoughts is Oli next to me. He taps my shoulder until he sees me turn around.
"Yes Oli?"
"Can we talk after school?"
"Can't."
He looks at me confused.
"Oli the State Championship is today. I've got to support my guy you know."
"It's important G."
"It can wait until after. Okay?"
"Alright..."
"Good. Now get back to your test before Ms. Rodriguez thinks we're cheating."
This test came easy to me, considering I'm Dominican. Spanish comes naturally to me.
Class went by pretty quickly and soon it would be time for the game. Making my way to the locker room. I was going to surprise Noah.
Noah
"I want you Noah", Stacey says.
"I don't think I want you anymore"
"What?!"
I scratch the back of my neck, "I don't think I want to date you again. You were controlling and a mess. Gina is nothing like that. She's-"
"Shut up. Shut the hell up! Don't you dare mention her name again!"
"Why are you mad at me?! It was you who told me to date her."
"Yeah so you could go to a good college you asshole. Not so you could fuck her and make her yours. You were mine..."
"Exactly, I was yours. I am Gina's now."
"You are such a waste of my time."
"I'm sorry Stace."
"Can I at least get a goodbye kiss?"
"Sure." I walk up to her grabbing her face in my hands, our lips meeting. This was one hard goodbye.
"You asshole!" Gina screams.
I turn around letting go of Stacey. "I- I'm so sorry Gina. It's not what it looks like."
"Oh, so you weren't kissing your ex?"
"Yes... but-"
"I don't want to hear it. I came to give you this. But seeing as your busy, I'll just leave it here." She throws me an object, hitting me on the face.
"Don't be too surprised girly. He was just using you for good grades. He didn't really care about you."
Gina looks at me hurt, "Is that-", she chokes up. "Is that true?"
I don't answer.
"I hope you two live happily ever after. You're perfect for each other." She storms out the locker room, just leaving Stacey and me.
"I guess that means we can get back together."
I look at her, "Did you know she was there?"
"Well... I didn't know it was her. But I did a very good educated guess."
"You bitch."
"If I can't have you. No one can." She starts walking out. "Oh", she turns around looking at me, "Good luck on the game. Go Tigers!"
I look at what Gina gave me, it was a necklace of a Tiger with a football.
Gina
I run out the school, dialing the only person I want to see right now. "Oli?"
"Gina you okay?"
"No, can you pick me up?"
"Yeah I just left the school but I can turn back around. Give me 5."
I wait patiently for him. A couple minutes later I see a Honda civic pull in and I make my way to him. Sitting in the passenger seat, I finally break down letting everything go.
"Gina, are you okay?"
"He kissed her."
"Who?"
"Noah he kissed Stacey."
"What?!"
"Yeah and he just used me for good grades. His GPA wasn't good I guess. Our whole relationship was a fake."
"I'm so sorry G."
"It's okay Oli. I should've listened to you when you said he gave you bad vibes."
Oliver
Gina begins crying even more. I take her in my arms and hug her tightly. "It is not your fault G. He's just a pathetic excuse of a human being. Wanna go to my house and watch a movie and eat some junk food."
She wipes her tears and nods her head. "Okay so let's get going."
After we make it home, we ordered pizza and bought some things from the store. She was so tired emotionally that she fell asleep.
I caress her hair, as she lays her head on my lap. I cannot believe Noah ruined a good thing just for a girl like Stacey.
But that means now that I might have a chance for myself. And I will thank him for that.
Noah
The game was a total bust. We lost no thanks to my lack of concentration. Gina and I are no longer a thing. Stacey and I will never be a thing again.
I am alone, and I doubt Gina will want to hear my side of the story. My father gave me an hour lecture and my performance today. Basically saying how I ruined my chances for senior year.
A to be completely honest I could care less. The only thing I wanted was Gina. And that would no longer be possible. Gina was gone.
They wanted me! I was in Ms. Jones's office. She was my guidance counselor, and had been keeping close tabs on me ever since my dad left. I had pretended to do the whole grieving act, with the fake tears, anger, guilt, the whole deal. Yet she seemed to know that I was faking. The truth is I haven't really had time to feel anything. Once he left, my mom fell apart. She stopped going to work, so we lost our house. We moved to a shitty apartment on Essex Street, and it became my responsibility to pay the bills. I lost all my friends except for Matt and Cody, who really had no aim in life. They just wanted to stay in Bangor for the rest of their life.
| |||
| The Multilayer Mask not only protects you from harmful dust and allergens, but it also lets you breathe freely with its polypropylene filters. The mask is lightweight and fitted for comfort, which is crucial for any mask that is to be worn for an extended period of time. | |||
| |||
| Green, Smith, Mitchell Flexible-Net 86778 468th Avenue. 86778 468th Avenue Opt out of further messages. |
Oliver
Today was the day. The day I would tell Gina how I felt. I was going to look in her bright blue eyes and everything was going to be perfect. I've longed for this day to come for the past 5 years. Gina has been one of my best friends since we were 8.
The only problem about my magnificent plan was that Gina is currently unavailable. Noah Peters is the guy who actually has the gift of being her boyfriend.
The stuck-up quarterback who spends half his day looking at himself in the mirror and the other talking about the amount of his touchdowns.
Gina isn't even his type, at all. But I've come up with the theory that he just began dating Gina because of her looks. And also the fact that he wanted to deflower her. In that he succeeded, which is another reason why I loathe him.
I know what you must be thinking, "Why would I get even attempt to show Gina my feelings if she's already taken?" But you don't get it. She is the light of my life, the sun when my life's so grey. Even if she'll never see me as more than a friend, I need her to know how I feel. How I've always felt.
Noah
"Stace I know it's hard to see me with her, but I promise you it's only temporary. As soon as I win the championship I will let her go."
"Promise?"
"Promise", I kiss her forehead. I step out of her BMW M3, making my way inside the building.
I see Gina on her way towards me. She makes that face I love and squeals loudly as she runs jumping in my arms.
"Hey baby. How's your morning been?", she smiles.
"Alright, I guess. It's better now that you're here."
She gets on her tippy-toes and kisses me softly. The way her soft pink lips feel on mine make me melt.
I grab her hand in mine. We make our way down the halls, getting to Spanish class.
"Here's my stop."
"Gina..."
"Yeah Noah?"
A lump begins to form in the back of my throat as I try to say these words. "Um.. forget about it. It can wait."
"Okay, I love you. See you after class."
"See you", I say walking away.
I make my way to the bathroom, as I look in the mirror I don't know who's looking back at me. Someone so familiar turned into a stranger overnight.
Stacey, my ex, was the one who proposed this shenanigan. She wanted me to date Gina. It was the only way I could get my grades up enough to play and get a scholarship.
I knew someone would get hurt when it was time to end it. I just never expected it to be me. And Stacey is determined to get me back.
Gina
Mine and Noah's relationship couldn't be better. Almost 6 months strong and my love for him just grows. My favorite part of the day is when I fall in his arms and he makes me feel so safe.
Interrupting my thoughts is Oli next to me. He taps my shoulder until he sees me turn around.
"Yes Oli?"
"Can we talk after school?"
"Can't."
He looks at me confused.
"Oli the State Championship is today. I've got to support my guy you know."
"It's important G."
"It can wait until after. Okay?"
"Alright..."
"Good. Now get back to your test before Ms. Rodriguez thinks we're cheating."
This test came easy to me, considering I'm Dominican. Spanish comes naturally to me.
Class went by pretty quickly and soon it would be time for the game. Making my way to the locker room. I was going to surprise Noah.
Noah
"I want you Noah", Stacey says.
"I don't think I want you anymore"
"What?!"
I scratch the back of my neck, "I don't think I want to date you again. You were controlling and a mess. Gina is nothing like that. She's-"
"Shut up. Shut the hell up! Don't you dare mention her name again!"
"Why are you mad at me?! It was you who told me to date her."
"Yeah so you could go to a good college you asshole. Not so you could fuck her and make her yours. You were mine..."
"Exactly, I was yours. I am Gina's now."
"You are such a waste of my time."
"I'm sorry Stace."
"Can I at least get a goodbye kiss?"
"Sure." I walk up to her grabbing her face in my hands, our lips meeting. This was one hard goodbye.
"You asshole!" Gina screams.
I turn around letting go of Stacey. "I- I'm so sorry Gina. It's not what it looks like."
"Oh, so you weren't kissing your ex?"
"Yes... but-"
"I don't want to hear it. I came to give you this. But seeing as your busy, I'll just leave it here." She throws me an object, hitting me on the face.
"Don't be too surprised girly. He was just using you for good grades. He didn't really care about you."
Gina looks at me hurt, "Is that-", she chokes up. "Is that true?"
I don't answer.
"I hope you two live happily ever after. You're perfect for each other." She storms out the locker room, just leaving Stacey and me.
"I guess that means we can get back together."
I look at her, "Did you know she was there?"
"Well... I didn't know it was her. But I did a very good educated guess."
"You bitch."
"If I can't have you. No one can." She starts walking out. "Oh", she turns around looking at me, "Good luck on the game. Go Tigers!"
I look at what Gina gave me, it was a necklace of a Tiger with a football.
Gina
I run out the school, dialing the only person I want to see right now. "Oli?"
"Gina you okay?"
"No, can you pick me up?"
"Yeah I just left the school but I can turn back around. Give me 5."
I wait patiently for him. A couple minutes later I see a Honda civic pull in and I make my way to him. Sitting in the passenger seat, I finally break down letting everything go.
"Gina, are you okay?"
"He kissed her."
"Who?"
"Noah he kissed Stacey."
"What?!"
"Yeah and he just used me for good grades. His GPA wasn't good I guess. Our whole relationship was a fake."
"I'm so sorry G."
"It's okay Oli. I should've listened to you when you said he gave you bad vibes."
Oliver
Gina begins crying even more. I take her in my arms and hug her tightly. "It is not your fault G. He's just a pathetic excuse of a human being. Wanna go to my house and watch a movie and eat some junk food."
She wipes her tears and nods her head. "Okay so let's get going."
After we make it home, we ordered pizza and bought some things from the store. She was so tired emotionally that she fell asleep.
I caress her hair, as she lays her head on my lap. I cannot believe Noah ruined a good thing just for a girl like Stacey.
But that means now that I might have a chance for myself. And I will thank him for that.
Noah
The game was a total bust. We lost no thanks to my lack of concentration. Gina and I are no longer a thing. Stacey and I will never be a thing again.
I am alone, and I doubt Gina will want to hear my side of the story. My father gave me an hour lecture and my performance today. Basically saying how I ruined my chances for senior year.
A to be completely honest I could care less. The only thing I wanted was Gina. And that would no longer be possible. Gina was gone.
They wanted me! I was in Ms. Jones's office. She was my guidance counselor, and had been keeping close tabs on me ever since my dad left. I had pretended to do the whole grieving act, with the fake tears, anger, guilt, the whole deal. Yet she seemed to know that I was faking. The truth is I haven't really had time to feel anything. Once he left, my mom fell apart. She stopped going to work, so we lost our house. We moved to a shitty apartment on Essex Street, and it became my responsibility to pay the bills. I lost all my friends except for Matt and Cody, who really had no aim in life. They just wanted to stay in Bangor for the rest of their life.
With me, however, I had been wanting to be a surgeon for as long as I can remember It had seemed like just a naïve hope, something to get me through the day, until now. Ms. Jones had just told me the news that had been my last hope to get out of this pointless excuse for a life. UConn accepted my application! I could finally get out of this prison and go out into the real world, the ?American Dream,' as they call it. I'm not normally this excited. Usually, I spend my days counting down the hours until the sun sets, and I get to go to sleep, hoping I don't wake up in the morning. The guilt of leaving for college is always weighing me down. Don't get the wrong impression, I'm not guilty for leaving my mom in this ridiculous town, she did this to herself. No, I'm guilty for leaving my brother, John We have been tight for as long as I can remember. He was my moral compass. I was his rock, the foundation of his whole life. I am the only person that truly cares about him, other than his turtle, Marcus. Without me paying for his school supplies, food, etc. I honestly don't know what will happen to him. I know it's selfish, but I have to go. Better I leave for college and give him hope for the future than off myself now and completely break him.
I look up at Ms. Jones, who is staring at me intently. ?It's nice to see you smile again,? she says. I then realize the wide grin spreading across my face and immediately try to conceal it, failing miserably. At that moment, my smile dissipates for real, as I realize that it's too good to be true. Good things don't happen to me. ?What's the catch?? I ask her. She gives me a look of pity. I hate when people do that. ?You've had way too many absences. I'm afraid that if you receive one more, you're going to have to repeat senior year.? My heart stops and I feel my defensive rage flare as my face burns scarlet. ?I was working! How dare you say that to me!?
She looks somber as she rubs her chin and looks at me. ?I do know that, but unfortunately it's no excuse according to the school, even if you do have straight A's. I am SO sorry.? I can tell she means it. I stand up and stumble out of office. I can't let her see me cry.
The bus stops 1/2 a mile from my house. I get up from my seat at the back and walk past the empty seats. There is gum all over them. I don't make eye contact with the bus driver, and when she says goodbye, I pretend not to notice. I hop down the steps onto the pothole covered blacktop. I hear the bus start up and sputter away. They really needed to get new ones. They break down almost every month and look like they were built in the 60s.
I was not looking forward to confronting my mother, but I had to. If I wanted to get out of this garbage town, then Amherst was my only way out. In order to achieve this scholarship, I would need to quit both my jobs. My mom would need to get one.
I look around suddenly as I hear some trash cans being knocked over. Standing there are Matt and Cody, grins spread across their acne coated faces. I swear loudly and ask what they are doing. Matt replies, saying, ?Our dad is goin' nuts again, and we wanted to know if you wanted to hang out down by the creek after you pick up John from.? Matt and Cody were old family friends, but their dad was pretty violent sometimes. When that happened, we would go down to the creek in the woods behind their house to skip rocks and stuff. I say sure, but don't let on about my scholarship. They knew about my dream, but never took it too seriously. They would get upset at the thought of me leaving them here.
I watch them walk away, kicking an old can back and forth between them. I walk until I reach my wretched apartment. I hate it. There are mice and leaky pipes, moldy walls, and cockroaches. I can't wait to say goodbye to it. I pull open the side door and head towards the stairwell, since the elevator can't be trusted. I walk up the slope, skipping every other step. I listen to the even sound of my shoes slapping the wood. I make it to the third floor, being careful not to touch the parts of the railing concealing old gum. I come out of the stairwell, walking on the disgusting green carpet that I know to be hiding weak spots in the floor where water had soaked through. I see my door and walk in.
Mom is on the couch in her usual position, sitting cross-legged with the controller in one hand and a half-eaten bag of Cheetos in the other. I make my way towards her and push the off button on the television, and that is when she realizes I am here. ?What is wrong with you? Turn it back on!? She screams at me.
?No. I need to talk to you about something, and you better listen.?
?I don't care what you do, just leave me alone!? I kick the trash can across the room, which finally makes her shut up. She looks at my face, and she starts crying. Her arms spread out and she gives me a smile. ?Come here, baby. I'm sorry. You know I love you. What do you need?? The act doesn't even touch me. I know she's just unstable. She does these personality switches all the time. It never bothers me. ?Get a job. I need to stop missing school to pay for your garbage. Apparently, you're an adult, so get a job so I can go to college!? The smile leaves her face as she rises to her feet, her dark hair falling over her eyes. ?How dare you talk to me like that?? She asks. Her voice started as a dangerous whisper but was rising fast. She begins walking towards me, stepping over the wrappers and papers. ?I am your mother, you ungrateful little?? I cut her off before she can finish.
?Just do it,? I say, and walk out, slamming the door behind me.
When John walks out the front door of his school, I wave him over. His blonde hair bouncing, he runs towards me with a smile on his face. ?What are you so happy about?? I ask.
?I won the race!? He screams. I give him a high five and put on a fake smile. Today he had been having a face-off with his bully, Marc. He had been tormenting John for the better part of the year, and John had finally stood up to him. ?That's great! Hey, we're gonna meet Matt and Cody in the woods, so we better hurry up. Bet you won't win this race!? I run off in the direction of the street, and I hear John running behind me. I pretend to trip over a crack, giving him the lead. As more dead leaves begin to crunch beneath our feet, the creek begins to come into view behind the trees. ?Where are they?? John asks. Just then, they jump out from behind a rock and make John squeal with delight. He runs up and high fives them.
An hour later, we are still there when Matt pulls out a bag. I gasp as I see the fluffy white contents. It looks almost friendly as it beckons to me, telling me to step closer. Instead, I pull my eyes away and they land on John, his mouth ajar and eyes wide. I guess he isn't too young to recognize the danger. This reassures me as I turn back to Matt. ?Put that away, you dork,? I say, trying not to upset him. His face breaks into an innocent smile, but all I see is his dark green eyes, and I see nothing there. ?Not in front of John,? I plead. I'm starting to get desperate. Instead, he lets his smile drop, and Cody steps forward. ?Do it. Don't be a pussy.? I grab John's arm and begin to run in the opposite direction as fast as I can. I hear little thwacks getting closer and closer, and I feel a tug. John has dropped to the ground. As I kneel next to him, I can see red blood on the back of his head. They hit him with a fucking rock. My eyes dart around the forest, rage forcing out tears that blur my vision, yet I see no sign of either of them. I look back down, take a deep breath, and help John to his feet. He has tear tracks on both his cheeks, and I feel a punch in the gut. I hug him close and lead the way home.
As I push open the pea green door to my apartment, I can hear the television playing. My mother looks at me irritably, and then at John. Her eyes widen, then narrow. She looks back to me, then at him. He runs to her, sobbing, and embraces her. She shoves him off like a rag doll and turns to me. ?What. The. HELL did you do to him?! I'll kill you if you ever lay another hand on my child, you motherfucker!? I turn around and walk right out. I make my way out of the hallway, down the stairs, and out through the double doors. I run about ten yards away, then grab a stone. As hard as I possibly can, I hurl it at my living room window. Not caring what happens next, I head around to the back of my building and unlock my bike, muttering the combination as I do so. I hop on and push the pedals, moving as fast I can to the East Bridge. Once I make it to the center, I lean to the right, set up the kickstand, and lift my leg over. I walk the two steps to the railing and look down. Today, I nearly got my brother killed. I am a selfish, arrogant, foolish, annoying bitch who doesn't deserve to live, and so all I can do in that moment is to look at the river. The black churning water seems so powerful. I imagine everywhere it's been. My eyes fix on a wave and follow it until it can no longer be seen. All I can do is look.
With me, however, I had been wanting to be a surgeon for as long as I can remember It had seemed like just a naïve hope, something to get me through the day, until now. Ms. Jones had just told me the news that had been my last hope to get out of this pointless excuse for a life. UConn accepted my application! I could finally get out of this prison and go out into the real world, the ?American Dream,' as they call it. I'm not normally this excited. Usually, I spend my days counting down the hours until the sun sets, and I get to go to sleep, hoping I don't wake up in the morning. The guilt of leaving for college is always weighing me down. Don't get the wrong impression, I'm not guilty for leaving my mom in this ridiculous town, she did this to herself. No, I'm guilty for leaving my brother, John We have been tight for as long as I can remember. He was my moral compass. I was his rock, the foundation of his whole life. I am the only person that truly cares about him, other than his turtle, Marcus. Without me paying for his school supplies, food, etc. I honestly don't know what will happen to him. I know it's selfish, but I have to go. Better I leave for college and give him hope for the future than off myself now and completely break him.
I look up at Ms. Jones, who is staring at me intently. ?It's nice to see you smile again,? she says. I then realize the wide grin spreading across my face and immediately try to conceal it, failing miserably. At that moment, my smile dissipates for real, as I realize that it's too good to be true. Good things don't happen to me. ?What's the catch?? I ask her. She gives me a look of pity. I hate when people do that. ?You've had way too many absences. I'm afraid that if you receive one more, you're going to have to repeat senior year.? My heart stops and I feel my defensive rage flare as my face burns scarlet. ?I was working! How dare you say that to me!?
She looks somber as she rubs her chin and looks at me. ?I do know that, but unfortunately it's no excuse according to the school, even if you do have straight A's. I am SO sorry.? I can tell she means it. I stand up and stumble out of office. I can't let her see me cry.
The bus stops 1/2 a mile from my house. I get up from my seat at the back and walk past the empty seats. There is gum all over them. I don't make eye contact with the bus driver, and when she says goodbye, I pretend not to notice. I hop down the steps onto the pothole covered blacktop. I hear the bus start up and sputter away. They really needed to get new ones. They break down almost every month and look like they were built in the 60s.
I was not looking forward to confronting my mother, but I had to. If I wanted to get out of this garbage town, then Amherst was my only way out. In order to achieve this scholarship, I would need to quit both my jobs. My mom would need to get one.
I look around suddenly as I hear some trash cans being knocked over. Standing there are Matt and Cody, grins spread across their acne coated faces. I swear loudly and ask what they are doing. Matt replies, saying, ?Our dad is goin' nuts again, and we wanted to know if you wanted to hang out down by the creek after you pick up John from.? Matt and Cody were old family friends, but their dad was pretty violent sometimes. When that happened, we would go down to the creek in the woods behind their house to skip rocks and stuff. I say sure, but don't let on about my scholarship. They knew about my dream, but never took it too seriously. They would get upset at the thought of me leaving them here.
I watch them walk away, kicking an old can back and forth between them. I walk until I reach my wretched apartment. I hate it. There are mice and leaky pipes, moldy walls, and cockroaches. I can't wait to say goodbye to it. I pull open the side door and head towards the stairwell, since the elevator can't be trusted. I walk up the slope, skipping every other step. I listen to the even sound of my shoes slapping the wood. I make it to the third floor, being careful not to touch the parts of the railing concealing old gum. I come out of the stairwell, walking on the disgusting green carpet that I know to be hiding weak spots in the floor where water had soaked through. I see my door and walk in.
Mom is on the couch in her usual position, sitting cross-legged with the controller in one hand and a half-eaten bag of Cheetos in the other. I make my way towards her and push the off button on the television, and that is when she realizes I am here. ?What is wrong with you? Turn it back on!? She screams at me.
?No. I need to talk to you about something, and you better listen.?
?I don't care what you do, just leave me alone!? I kick the trash can across the room, which finally makes her shut up. She looks at my face, and she starts crying. Her arms spread out and she gives me a smile. ?Come here, baby. I'm sorry. You know I love you. What do you need?? The act doesn't even touch me. I know she's just unstable. She does these personality switches all the time. It never bothers me. ?Get a job. I need to stop missing school to pay for your garbage. Apparently, you're an adult, so get a job so I can go to college!? The smile leaves her face as she rises to her feet, her dark hair falling over her eyes. ?How dare you talk to me like that?? She asks. Her voice started as a dangerous whisper but was rising fast. She begins walking towards me, stepping over the wrappers and papers. ?I am your mother, you ungrateful little?? I cut her off before she can finish.
?Just do it,? I say, and walk out, slamming the door behind me.
When John walks out the front door of his school, I wave him over. His blonde hair bouncing, he runs towards me with a smile on his face. ?What are you so happy about?? I ask.
?I won the race!? He screams. I give him a high five and put on a fake smile. Today he had been having a face-off with his bully, Marc. He had been tormenting John for the better part of the year, and John had finally stood up to him. ?That's great! Hey, we're gonna meet Matt and Cody in the woods, so we better hurry up. Bet you won't win this race!? I run off in the direction of the street, and I hear John running behind me. I pretend to trip over a crack, giving him the lead. As more dead leaves begin to crunch beneath our feet, the creek begins to come into view behind the trees. ?Where are they?? John asks. Just then, they jump out from behind a rock and make John squeal with delight. He runs up and high fives them.
An hour later, we are still there when Matt pulls out a bag. I gasp as I see the fluffy white contents. It looks almost friendly as it beckons to me, telling me to step closer. Instead, I pull my eyes away and they land on John, his mouth ajar and eyes wide. I guess he isn't too young to recognize the danger. This reassures me as I turn back to Matt. ?Put that away, you dork,? I say, trying not to upset him. His face breaks into an innocent smile, but all I see is his dark green eyes, and I see nothing there. ?Not in front of John,? I plead. I'm starting to get desperate. Instead, he lets his smile drop, and Cody steps forward. ?Do it. Don't be a pussy.? I grab John's arm and begin to run in the opposite direction as fast as I can. I hear little thwacks getting closer and closer, and I feel a tug. John has dropped to the ground. As I kneel next to him, I can see red blood on the back of his head. They hit him with a fucking rock. My eyes dart around the forest, rage forcing out tears that blur my vision, yet I see no sign of either of them. I look back down, take a deep breath, and help John to his feet. He has tear tracks on both his cheeks, and I feel a punch in the gut. I hug him close and lead the way home.
As I push open the pea green door to my apartment, I can hear the television playing. My mother looks at me irritably, and then at John. Her eyes widen, then narrow. She looks back to me, then at him. He runs to her, sobbing, and embraces her. She shoves him off like a rag doll and turns to me. ?What. The. HELL did you do to him?! I'll kill you if you ever lay another hand on my child, you motherfucker!? I turn around and walk right out. I make my way out of the hallway, down the stairs, and out through the double doors. I run about ten yards away, then grab a stone. As hard as I possibly can, I hurl it at my living room window. Not caring what happens next, I head around to the back of my building and unlock my bike, muttering the combination as I do so. I hop on and push the pedals, moving as fast I can to the East Bridge. Once I make it to the center, I lean to the right, set up the kickstand, and lift my leg over. I walk the two steps to the railing and look down. Today, I nearly got my brother killed. I am a selfish, arrogant, foolish, annoying bitch who doesn't deserve to live, and so all I can do in that moment is to look at the river. The black churning water seems so powerful. I imagine everywhere it's been. My eyes fix on a wave and follow it until it can no longer be seen. All I can do is look.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment